Reconnect with an estranged family member

Use this guide if you have lost contact with a parent, sibling, adult child or other relative and are thinking about getting back in touch, perhaps ahead of Christmas or a family event. Have time to reflect privately and, if possible, a trusted friend to talk it through with.

Step by step

1. Get clear on why and what you hope for

   Write down why you want to reconnect now and what a good outcome would look like, from an occasional card to a full relationship. Also write down what you are not willing to accept, such as being blamed or returning to old patterns. If the estrangement involved abuse or you feel unsafe, prioritise your safety and talk to a counsellor or support service before making contact.