Step in to raise a relative's child as a kinship carer

This guide is for grandparents, aunts, uncles, older siblings and family friends in England who are taking on, or have just taken on, care of a child whose parents cannot look after them. These arrangements often start in a crisis, with a phone call from social services or a parent, and decisions made in the first days can affect your legal rights, your finances and the support the child gets for years. You will learn which kind of arrangement you are in, what to ask the council, how to check money and school support, and how to look after the child and yourself. At the end you will have a clear record, the right questions answered in writing and a plan for the months ahead.

What is inside

• Full step-by-step method9 detailed steps with decision points
• Ready-to-use templatesEmail to the social worker confirming the arrangement · Kinship care record sheet · Letter asking a parent for consent for everyday decisions
• Timed action plan8 stages from “Days 1–3” to “Month 6”
• Costly mistakes to avoid4 traps and what to do instead
• Complete checklist11 items to tick off
• Insider tips and fixes4 tips and 4 common problems solved

Step by step

1. Make the child safe and settled for the first few days

   Focus first on the basics: a bed, clothes, any medicines, school or nursery attendance and a calm routine. Ask the parents or the social worker for the child's GP, health visitor or school details, any allergies or health conditions, and important belongings or comfort items. Tell the child, in simple and honest words suited to their age, that they are safe, who is looking after them and that the adults are sorting things out. Avoid criticising the parents in front of the child, however you feel. If there is any immediate risk to the child or to you, call 999; if you are worried about the child's safety in other ways, contact the council's children's services. Start a notebook or file on day one, because you will need dates and names later.