Self Assessment: Is My Suspicion Reasonable?

This assessment helps you judge whether your concern rests mainly on facts or mainly on feelings, and which response would be proportionate. The score is not a probability, prediction or diagnosis and cannot tell you whether a partner is being unfaithful.

Before you begin: answer only from what you have actually observed or from information you are legitimately entitled to see. Complete the assessment once rather than repeatedly checking it.

1. How long have the changes lasted? Less than two weeks Two to four weeks More than four weeks

2. How many genuinely independent signs have you observed?

Count signs as independent only if they could not all be explained by the same single cause.

None or one Two or three Four or more

3. Are the changes directed at you specifically? No. They apply to everyone, such as general stress or irritability Partly Mainly. Secrecy, distance or defensiveness applies chiefly to you

4. Is there concealment? None observed More privacy than before, but nothing actively hidden Active concealment, such as a hidden phone or account, or false explanations

5. Do explanations contain verifiable contradictions on central points?

A verifiable contradiction is an explanation that conflicts with a fact you know. Differences in minor details, such as exact times, do not count.

None One Two or more, or accounts that change each time new information emerges

6. Is there an independent fact that supports a concerning explanation? No Yes. An independently verifiable fact supports a concerning explanation over an innocent one

7. Have there been changes in appearance, mood or intimacy?

This carries a maximum of one point because these changes are common and have many causes.

No Yes

8. How much of your concern rests on a feeling rather than facts? I can list at least three specific observations written as neutral facts My concern rests mostly on a feeling. I can list fewer than three neutral observations

9. Is there another reasonable explanation?

Consider alternatives such as work, health, money, family, low mood or unhappiness in the relationship.

A strong alternative explanation fits most of what I have observed A partial alternative explanation fits some of what I have observed After honest effort, I cannot identify a plausible alternative

Please answer all nine questions before evaluating the result.

Your individual answers are used to calculate the assessment but are not retained. Only the calculated score is stored temporarily, and the result is revealed only after successful payment.

Safety: whatever your score, if you fear for your safety, do not use this assessment to decide whether to confront a partner. Seek specialist support first.