Use this guide if you want to record your own story for family or turn part of your life into a memoir. Have a notebook or document, and any photos, letters or diaries that spark memories.
Step by step
Decide who it is for
A family record can cover your whole life in simple, honest detail. A memoir for wider readers usually focuses on one theme, period or turning point rather than everything. Knowing your reader shapes what you include and how you write it.
Collect your memories
Make a timeline of homes, schools, jobs, relationships and key events. Look through photos, letters, certificates and old diaries, and write a short note on each memory they bring back. Talk to relatives who may remember details differently.
Choose a structure
Chronological order is simplest for a family history. For a memoir, you might group chapters by theme or start at a dramatic moment before going back. Write a list of chapter headings so the project feels manageable.
Write scenes, not summaries
Pick one memory and write it as a scene with where you were, what people said and how it felt. Specific details such as smells, songs and objects bring the past to life. Aim for regular short sessions rather than waiting for long free days.
Think carefully about other people
Real people will appear in your story and may read it. Be fair, stick to what you know and consider changing names or leaving out details that could hurt someone or break a confidence. If you plan to publish something that could damage a living person's reputation, get legal advice first.
Revise and share
Once you have a full draft, read it through and cut repetition before polishing sentences. Ask one trusted reader for honest feedback. For family, you might print a few copies with photos, and for wider publication look at agents or self-publishing.
Ready-to-use checklist
- Decided on family record or memoir
- Timeline of key life events made
- Photos and documents gathered
- Relatives' memories noted
- Chapter list drafted
- Regular writing time set
- People's privacy considered
- First full draft read through
Practical tips
- Record conversations with older relatives, with their permission, as their voices and stories become precious.
- Write the memories that feel most vivid first; you can fill gaps later.
- Label photos with names, places and dates as you go so future generations know who is who.
Common problems
I cannot remember details clearly.
Say so honestly in the text, or use documents, photos and relatives' accounts to fill gaps. Memoir is about your truth and experience, so reflect on what you do remember rather than inventing facts.
Writing about painful events is upsetting.
Go at your own pace, take breaks and write the hardest parts only when you feel ready. Talk to someone you trust, and contact your GP if old memories are affecting your wellbeing.
The project feels too big to finish.
Narrow the focus to one period or theme, or set a goal of one short story a week. Twenty finished short pieces make a lovely book on their own.
This guide gives general information, not personal legal, financial or medical advice. Rules and prices change, so check the current position with the official service before acting.
This guide is free. Unlock all ABCDayZ guides from £3.99 – one payment, no automatic renewal.