Seeing someone you care about in crisis is frightening, and you do not have to handle it alone. Your role is to help keep them safe and connect them with professional help, not to fix everything. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 999 now.
Step by step
Check immediate safety
If the person has seriously harmed themselves, is at immediate risk of doing so, or anyone else is in danger, call 999. Stay on the line and follow the call handler's advice. Do not put yourself in danger.
Get urgent mental health help
If there is no immediate danger but they need urgent help, call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option in England or Wales, or NHS 24 on 111 in Scotland. In Northern Ireland, call Lifeline free on 0808 808 8000 at any time, or contact their GP or the GP out-of-hours service, and call 999 if life is at risk. If they already have a crisis plan or care team, use the numbers in it.
Stay with them and listen
If it is safe, stay with them or make sure someone else can. Speak calmly, listen without judging and let them know you are there. It is all right to ask directly whether they are thinking about suicide; asking does not put the idea in their head.
Reduce immediate risks
If it is safe to do so, remove or reduce access to things they could use to harm themselves. Avoid alcohol and drugs, which can make things worse.
Share support numbers
Make sure they have Samaritans' free number, 116 123, and Shout's text service, SHOUT to 85258, saved on their phone. Both are available at any time.
Follow up and look after yourself
After the immediate crisis, encourage them to see their GP or stay in touch with their care team, and check in regularly. Supporting someone is demanding, so talk to someone you trust, and consider support for yourself from your GP, Samaritans or charities such as Mind or Rethink Mental Illness.
Ready-to-use checklist
- Immediate danger assessed
- 999 called if life at risk
- Urgent mental health line contacted
- Someone staying with the person
- Access to harmful items reduced if safe
- Samaritans and Shout numbers saved
- Follow-up with GP or care team arranged
- Support for yourself arranged
Practical tips
- Save the crisis numbers in your own phone now, before you need them.
- Keep your language simple and calm; you do not need to find perfect words.
- If the person has a crisis plan, ask where it is kept and who is on it.
Common problems
They refuse to get help.
Keep calm and keep listening, and tell them you are worried about them. If you believe they are at immediate risk, call 999 even if they do not want you to. Otherwise, you can call NHS 111 for advice on what to do next.
They asked me to keep it secret.
You can respect their privacy in many ways, but not when their life or someone else's safety is at risk. Explain gently that you care too much to keep that secret and that you want to help them get support.
I feel overwhelmed after the crisis.
This is a common reaction. Talk to someone you trust, contact your GP, or call Samaritans on 116 123 for yourself. Carers of people with mental health problems can also ask their council for a carer's assessment.